Quaker Summer February 26, 2008

Wow! I just finished an awesome book entitled Quaker Summer. Basically it is about a woman, Heather, who is struggling with being well-off. She is married to a doctor, they have plenty of money, which she just keeps spending like water flowing down a stream, so they should be happy, shouldn’t they? This is the question she keeps asking herself. She feels she hears God speaking to her that there is more to life than putting in a pool and volunteering at her son’s school.

Sure enough when you start listening to God and allowing Him to answer, He does! I really recommend this for your reading list, however, I want to comment on one part that really touched me to the core. She is having a discussion with the sister of a Quaker lady she met and has formed a friendship with. They are talking about how much a person can bear–how much heartache a person can take…because she assumes there is a limit. Her friend corrects her telling her she is mistaken because she explains, the more “stuff” you allow to fester inside of you, knotting you up, the more you have to find a way to let it out. And that way is giving to others through service, making someone a meal, or talking to someone who is down and out. Heather questions her about how that could possibly help. Her friend says because God is there in it!  If that isn’t mind boggling enough, what she says next blows it away…

 ”…in the pain I lean on Him. In the good, somehow, I participate with Him in a way that binds me to Him and Him to me in a different way. He allows me to partner with Him during those times, and I find that to be the highest honor He could ever bestow upon an old sinner like me. And then become like Christ Himself, who wasn’t content just to say things, but to touch people, heal them, eat with them…be with them. Jesus showed up…” (p. 188-189)

Lord Jesus, thank you for reminding me that living life is really just a simple case of ”showing up.” Humble me and allow me to simplify my life enough to be able to accept this challenge.

How Can We Doubt God’s Power? February 16, 2008

The story below was sent to me this week by a member of my small group Bible study that meets on Thursday mornings. My parents live in Jackson, Tennessee, not very far from Union University, so this story hits especially close to home for me.

I was deeply moved by the girl’s telling of her story of rescue by God’s hand. However, I think there is another aspect to the story that we often miss:

God created the earth and everything in it. He is so many times more powerful than that tornado it is unimaginable.

When we think of the tornado’s power ripping across the Union University’s campus, how can we ever doubt God’s power, even for a nanosecond? It blows my mind to think of it. It makes me fall down on my face before God humble. What about you?

My Experience in the Union University Tornado – Feb. 5, 2008 (located in Jackson, Tennessee)

by Heather Martin

Dear Friends, Family, and Professors,

As many of you know, I was involved in the F4 tornado that hit Union University last Tuesday ( 02-05-08 ). Many of you may have already read my account on facebook, but I wanted to give a more detailed version now that I have had a little more time to process. This may be a bit long, but my plan is just to walk you through that portion of my life.

Around 5:30 , I was studying at Books-a-million and was planning on riding out the storm there. After a few phone calls from concerned friends, I decided to return to campus. I went to eat on campus with my roommates, Suzanne Short and Kellie Roe, around 6:00 . We returned to the room and the weather began to change. It was stormy but it felt like it was just going to be another ordinary, frustrating tornado drill. I was stressing over the fact that I wasn’t going to get much studying accomplished. A mentor of mine from church, Julie Boyer, decided to come over and ride the storm out with us. She lives in an upstairs apartment in Cherry Grove and didn’t really want to spend that time with her neighbors below. She arrived around 6:30 . Soon after, the 3 girls who live above us came down (as instructed). The RAs (resident advisors) were busy trying to make sure all students were in the downstairs dorm rooms. My roommate, Suzanne, is an RA, so she was in and out of our room. We were keeping an eye on the radar on TV, watching the system head straight toward us.

About 2 minutes before the tornado hit, my RA (and roommate) ran in and said, “Get in the tub, now!” (that would be the last time I would see her and know that she was alive until 11:30 or so later that night – as I was trapped, I didn’t see how there was even the slightest chance that she was alive and had made it to safety) We headed to the bathroom — the three girls from upstairs got into the tub.

Then our ears started popping (due to the pressure change). At that point, Kellie was almost into the tub and Julie turned to me and said, “We have to get in, NOW!” We shut the door, Julie jumped in – she was holding my hand – the lights went off – hail was pounding our building – and I was almost completely in when the tornado hit. I still have not come up with adequate words to describe the tornado. I’ll do my best. Everyone asks, “Did it sound like a train?” It sounded like a thousand trains. The noise was incredible. It was a roar. Julie was still holding me at this point and I felt my legs being pulled up by the force. And then, everything collapsed. There was a tremendous amount of pressure and it just kept pressing us and pressing us. Some of us were screaming – it was pushing the breath out of me, so I couldn’t scream. All of what I have just described occurred in about 5 or 6 seconds. As things were falling and the wind was swirling around us, I remember thinking, “This is NOT happening to me”.

As quickly as it came, it left. And then there was an eery silence and darkness. I couldn’t see anyone in the tub with me. It was so hard to breathe. There was a wall pressing down across my back, and my legs hadn’t made it into the tub. After being pulled by the tornado, they (my legs) got pinned between a wall of debris and the edge of the tub. I can’t describe my body position because it was so contorted, you would have to see a picture. One of the girls was able to call 911. She had her cellphone and thankfully could move enough to make the call. We found out later we were the first call from Union .

My initial thoughts were: “Every student on this campus is either dead or trapped like we are. This is where I am going to die. No one will ever find us. We will be here for days and we won’t last that long”. We all accounted for each other and tried to calm each other down. Then, very methodically, I began to assess my situation. I realized my legs were pinned – but I felt no pain – breathing was going to be my biggest issue – and I was pinned under the wall (floor above us, really). I began to think about what my death would be like. I only had a small pocket of air and my whole body was compressed. I realized I was going to pass out, and then I would be with Jesus. To some of you, that may sound very morbid, but it actually allowed me to move on and not panic in fear about the process of my death. At that point, I realized someone right next to me was breathing her last breaths. I had no idea who it was. I called out Julie’s name, the breaths were interrupted, and she responded to me. At this point, my heart sank. It felt like someone had stabbed it. I thought, “Dear Lord, I cannot handle losing another friend”. I began to pray out loud – telling Julie to breathe, not to talk, just to breathe – I was positioned on top of her in such a way that if I moved, she either couldn’t breathe or it caused her excruciating pain. I cannot even begin to describe the fear in my heart that this precious person was going to die underneath me. I prayed aloud – I tried to quote Scripture – at some point I found Kellie’s hand and she was praying as well. I realize now, Christ was guiding my thoughts from the very beginning – after coming to grips with the fact that this would most likely be the night of my death, I was able to move on and focus on simply breathing. I continued to pray aloud, and then at one point I had to tell Julie that I was out of breath and couldn’t pray out loud anymore, but that I was still praying in my heart and mind. Please do not see this as my being “strong” or “brave” or “courageous” – this was the power of Christ in me. He guided me in my thoughts – He helped me to focus on breathing, praying, and helping/encouraging Julie to breathe. This whole experience was terrifying – but God was in the midst of us. I recall at times just crying out “God, You are here, You are here – give us strength, sustain us”.

At one point, Kellie very calmly said, “Heather, it’s going to be okay”. Kellie now has no recollection of this. God used her and spoke through her directly to me in that moment. It was at that point that I had an overwhelming sense of peace. Peace – not because I was confident that we would be rescued – but peace from the fact that we were either going to join Christ in heaven or He was going to sustain us and leave us here on earth for a little while longer.

The tornado struck at 7:02 – the firemen arrived around 7:15 . We were told later that when they arrived, the chief got out and was overwhelmed with the destruction. He sent off the team in twos to listen for voices. Students began to crawl out of their bath tubs. He heard muffled sounds near the pile of debris that used to be my dorm room. There were 15 ft. of rubble on top of us. They had to remove it by hand. (an earlier account said by backhoe, but that was a rumor)

When the rescuers got close to us, it got really scary. Julie’s breathing was terrible at this point and she was in and out of consciousness. As the rescuers neared our tub, it was terrifying because the rubble and debris would shift and the pressure would increase. Several of the girls were screaming – I was trying to breathe and couldn’t scream very well. Finally light broke through. But Julie wasn’t doing well. I couldn’t move because it hurt her and she couldn’t breathe. Her neck was exposed in such a way that if the rescuers slid the debris off, her neck would snap. She told me later that she was thinking, “I’ve survived the tornado, only to be killed in the rescue.” She told me I had to tell them where she was. The firemen were telling us not to scream and panic, because they thought we were in pain each time we did. At this point, I could see one of the fireman’s face. I screamed at him. I said, “Can you see my face??” – (he could) – then I screamed out, “I am not panicking. You have to listen to me. There is someone stuck under me and if I move she can’t breathe. Her neck is exposed, so you can’t slide the debris. You have to lift it.” Then, they lifted off the main piece, and for the first time in 45 minutes, we could breathe in fresh air!!

They got the other girls out and Julie and I were left. They tried to get me next, but my legs were still pinned. So, they got Julie out. Then, a fireman came and held me. He held my torso and my head. He kept telling me, “We’re gonna get you out of here.” It took a lot of maneuvering and strength on the part of the rescuers because I couldn’t feel my legs unless there was a lot of pain – and I couldn’t feel them enough to pull them out myself. I noticed there was a 2×4 right next to my right knee, between the edge of the tub and the mass of debris. That 2×4 had kept just enough of the pressure off of my legs so that I didn’t completely lose blood flow to my lower extremities. It saved my legs.

We were rescued. We sustained only minor injuries. I ended up being taken to the ER because I passed out, but it was just from the shock. My body is intact. I am now walking around without a limp and I am just experiencing pain from the strained muscles in my back. As I have reflected over Tuesday night, I see the Lord. I cannot explain our survival – and the fact that there were NO fatalities – aside from the fact that God loves us a whole lot and He is not through with us here on earth. The destruction and chaos of Tuesday night is incredible. The amazing power, strength, grace, and love of Jesus Christ is the only explanation I have to offer. In the midst of the chaos and rubble, He knew how each board, each brick, each piece of metal and concrete were placed – and He protected us. Another thought that keeps recurring is the testimony of the father of my friend who was killed in an avalanche a month ago. She died and her brother (who was hiking with her) made it out. Their father said, “Our God saves. He saved Nick from the avalanche, and He saved Lygon (my friend) unto Himself.” Those words ring so true of my experience. I have struggled in the past with my faith – wondering if I were “truly saved” – wondering what my last thoughts would be. Well, now I know. My “last thoughts” were: “God has me. Either way I am okay. I will either join Him in heaven, or He will save me for yet a little while longer here on earth.”

My desire as you read my story is that you will be impressed with the Lord. Do not call me a hero. Every thought I had Tuesday night was guided by Christ – the calmness I had was directly from Him – He gave me peace – He sustained me by His grace and strength. I have struggled and fought against the Lord a whole lot in the last couple of months. I’ve struggled to trust Him – to accept His unconditional love for me. Yet, He proved Himself in such a mighty way Tuesday night. I am amazed at His goodness – His faithfulness. I hope you are as well. He is a mighty God.

I have lived through a tornado. However, I am not fearless. The next few weeks and months actually are a pretty scary thought to me right now. I have a lot to work through. There are sounds and feelings stored in my memory that are terrifying and paralyze me at times. My mentor and dear friend almost died underneath me. I am struggling to come to grips with that. I am struggling to sleep because there are so many vivid images and feelings when I shut my eyes. However, I find hope in this: God knew, as I lay pinned in that tub, that I would make it out. He is the One responsible for getting me out. Simply put, He is not through with me yet. He already knows what each and every second of the next few weeks and months hold for me, my friends, and my family. And knowing that, gives me hope – it keeps me going. He sustained me through Tuesday night and He will continue to sustain me in the days that follow. My friend Beth McDowell, a nurse who was on site Tuesday, (and was with me right as they were putting me onto the stretcher) quoted these verses to me: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” – 2 Corinthians 4:8,9

As you have read my story, you’ve read a lot about God. It may sound a bit odd if you don’t know Him personally. But here’s the truth: I cannot explain ANY of the events of Tuesday without acknowledging that God was there – He sustained and covered us all with His protection. I should not be alive today — but I am because He still has plans for my life here on earth. He is good. If you don’t know Him, you need to. He loves you. He wants a relationship with you. I pray that through my story, you have caught a glimpse of who He is – His love – His sovereignty – His strength – and His grace – and ultimately, His salvation. 

Awesome story I wanted to share… February 9, 2008

BETH MOORE AT AIRPORT

For those of you who don’t know Beth Moore, she is an outstanding Bible teacher, writer of Bible Studies, and a married mother of 2 daughters. She is a member of First Baptist, Houston.

April 20, 2005

At the airport in Knoxville

Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I’d had a marvelous morning with the Lord.

I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you.

You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousands reasons, not the least of which is your ego.

I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.

I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I’d just had a Howard Hughes sighting.

Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport, …an impersonator maybe?

Was a camera on us somewhere?

There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let’s admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.

I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I’ve learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately

I began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind.

“Oh no, God please no.” I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, “Don’t make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I’ll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don’t make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!”…

There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, “Please don’t make me witness to this man. Not now. I’ll do it on the plane.”

Then I heard it…”I don’t want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.”

The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, “God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I’m on this Lord. I’m your girl! You’ve never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man.”

Again as clearly as I’ve ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. “That is not what I said, Beth. I don’t want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.”

I looked up at God and quipped, “I don’t have a hairbrush. It’s in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?”…

God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God’s Word: “I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works.” (2 Timothy 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies.

I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, “Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?”

He looked back at me and said, “What did you say?”

“May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?” To which he responded in volume ten, “Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you’re going to have to talk louder than that.” At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, “SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?”

At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face and say, “If you really want to.”

Are you kidding? Of course I didn’t want to. But God didn’t seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, “Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don’t have hairbrush.”

“I have one in my bag, ” he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair and got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger’s old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man’s hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don’t do many things well, but I must admit I’ve had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls.

Like I’d done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man’s hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me.

I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair.

I know this sounds so strange, but I’ve never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, that I – for that few minutes – felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God’s.

His hair was finally as soft as an infant’s. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said, “Sir, do you know my Jesus?”

He said, “Yes, I do.” Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, “I’ve known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn’t marry me until I got to know the Savior.” He said, “You see, the problem is, I haven’t seen my bride in months. I’ve had open-heart surgery and she’s been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself, what a mess I must be for my bride.”

Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we’re completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment and I’ll never forget it. Our time came to board and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I’d acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft.

I still had a few minutes and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, “That old man’s sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?”

I said, “Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!” And we got to share. I learned something about God that day. He knows if you’re exhausted because you’re hungry, you’re serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on, but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you’re hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you’re sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!

I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one I had missed along the way…all because I didn’t want people to think I was strange. God didn’t send me to that old man, He sent that old man to me.

John 1:14, “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

By: Beth Moore

1. - “Life shouldn’t be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting…”Wow! What a ride! Thanks You Lord!” – Author unknown

Holy Obedience February 1, 2008

God has definitely been working out His grace in my life this week. Again, I have been reading from Richard Foster’s Freedom of Simplicity where he points out what the first steps are to ”begin bringing the grace of the holy obedience into your life.” Of course, it is the desire to know God and walk with him!

 God put it on my heart today to write out this prayer and  make it a part of my very being:

   Lord, I ask that you increase the light of Christ in my life. I ask that the Shekinah, the glorious, radiant presence of Your Godness, which once filled the temple’s mercy-seat, fill my heart to overflowing. In every task of this day I seek to live in utter surrender, listening and obedient to Your will. I pray You will help me to make Holy Obedience a priority today. I ask that I would begin this very moment! 

   In Your Son’s Holy Name, Amen.

One Thing… February 1, 2008

01/24/08 (actual date written)

Wow, what a total dichotomy today has been. I awoke feeling awful, berating myself for once again being too lazy and selfish to arise early enough to fix breakfast for my husband whom I love. I thought, as I think everyday, if I love my husband so much then why is it so hard to do this ONE thing for him? I mean he doesn’t ask for much. Really, he doesn’t. He is the sweetest, most unselfish man I know. He really does love me and shows it by trying to accomplish whatever thing I ask him to do whether it is small or large. Why then do I have such an issue with doing this ONE thing?

Well, life goes on so I got up after he left for work and proceeded to fix MY breakfast all the while trying to push the guilt away for not having fixed HIS breakfast. After all, isn’t it such a man thing that I have to fix his breakfast AND my breakfast? At least that’s the worldly justification I come up with every morning. It’s been working as an excuse now for a long time so it must be right, right?   I climbed the stairs after breakfast to begin my day by reading Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster. I’m reading it because I don’t want to be embarrassed in our small group this Sunday night because I haven’t done the homework again. 

Anyway, as I’m reading something amazing is happening to me. I am getting inspired, excited, and passionate. The words are leaping off at me as if they are alive, urging me to follow what they are saying and where they are leading! I loved the fourth chapter. I wanted to stay there all day. I felt as if God opened up my brain and poured ideas in. Amazing. That’s it. I feel amazing. I feel the power of God working in my life right now. So instead of quenching this amazing gift of the Holy Spirit as I usually do I decided to act. The first action is the beginning of this blog.  The title comes from p. 74 where Richard Foster is espousing the “Theology in the Cause of Simplicity” that developed from the Protestant Reformation movement. He points out that the movement was based on the idea that if we live by Scripture alone (sola scriptura), grace alone (sola gratia), and faith alone (sola fide) we will be truly free to serve God and others in a singleness of purpose.  

He states, “If we are still in bondage to sin, our serving will flow out of that center. We will not have the single eye that gives light to all we do.” I saw myself immediately in that statement. I have been trying to serve my husband from this bondage which made it seem hard, impossible even. My rebellious and selfish nature took over and said “no” to doing the good thing that I wanted to do from the heart. Then, Foster continues, “But once the grace of God has broken into our lives, we are free. When we are free from the control of our neighbor, we are able to obey God. And as we obey God with a single heart, we are given a new power and desire to serve our neighbor, from whom we are now free. We have become ‘servants of our neighbors, and yet lords of all’.”  These words truly inspired this prayer in me:  may God allow His grace to break free in my life! 

Actions/Ideas:

Spiritual—just pray one specific thing each day for me and my family. Today, that prayer was that God would allow His grace to break free in each family member’s life.  Also, I prayed that God would give me the motivation and desire to do that ONE thing—get up on time and make breakfast for my husband each and every morning. When God’s power enables me to do this ONE thing, then I know He will use this as a springboard to work amazing things in all areas of my life.

Creative—research and write biographies of these amazing spiritual powerhouses and the difference their lives had on the world.

Physical—get my hands on these two books: Purity of Heart Is to Will One Thing by Kierkegaard; and The Journal of John Woolman by JohnWoolman.

Mental—mantra, “Serve real needs.”